No matter how far you run from God he is just one breath away. He never left me, he left the 99 to find me… I am the prodigal daughter. I am sober. I am breathing one day at a time. I never could’ve imagined the 180 my life would take when I gave it to Jesus.
Hey my name is Savannah Wooley and I could have been you… I was raised in church. There every time the doors were open. God and I had a great plan for my life but that plan is not the one that I allowed to be carried out. I said yes one time to the wrong thing. Then yes to a lot of wrong things. One yes led to another and pretty soon there was not much that I had not done. I was ashamed, embarrassed, lost and I just knew God didn’t want me anymore. I figured what’s the point of trying to stop this was just going to be my life until it kills me. Addiction is like slowly drowning and you can see it happening but you cannot figure out how to get to air. Every day you slip further away with no understanding of how to get out. You know you need air to live and break free. Jesus is that air you need you just have to have faith and breathe. One day at a time.
13 years into addiction I was tired. Tired of running from God, tired of the struggle and tired of suffocating . I used to think that would never be me but the truth is no one wakes up and just decides I am going to spend the rest of my life an addict. It starts with one yes to the wrong thing. I always thought I could stop whenever I wanted … until I couldn’t.
One night I knelt beside my bed I begged God that he would forgive me and help me to get sober. I knew I needed him to help me I couldn’t do it alone.
I got clean then I got angry… I lost all my “friends”I had to face my mistakes and trauma sober. I asked God for forgiveness but I couldn’t forgive myself. I had no idea who I was or what I stood for because all I had done was mask my whole life with drugs and alcohol. What was I supposed to do now? My response was fury and solitude. That I can do it all by myself I don’t need anybody. I stayed home and built my walls higher than ever. Without realizing it I became agoraphobic. I was scared to go too far from my house or have any kind of outside friendships. I didn’t want to be hurt again so I made it to where no one could get close enough to hurt me. I struggled with PTSD trust issues, anxiety depression, and self hate. Now I had to learn how to cope with all the thoughts and feelings that I used the drugs and alcohol to cover up. Turns out healing is just as exhausting as drowning but I still needed to breathe.
I have been sober since February 24th 2019 and I am in awe of how my life has changed. I spend my time in church instead under the influence. My family and I put God first. We tithe and serve in the church. I still struggle sometimes and have a hard time letting people in but I am working on that. Some days my past tries to haunt me and I start spiraling but I know Jesus dropped the charges and I am forgiven.
No matter how far you run from God he is just one breath away. He never left me, he left the 99 to find me… I am the prodigal daughter. I am sober. I am breathing one day at a time. I never could’ve imagined the 180 my life would take when I gave it to Jesus. It’s not as hard as you think just let go and LET GOD…JUST BREATHE
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