The love, laughter, and conversations are all a part of our growth, healing, and understanding of our past. All this helps each of us to see that we are people who hurt and are in need of something or someone to lead us on the right path.
When I started the Movement Group, I did not want to open up. Talking about past experiences, the hurt and anger within was something I was not ready to relive or let known. Let alone working through it all to understand why there was a need to forgive, let go, and move forward without that “baggage.”
I sat on the “outskirts” when our group first started. I talked some, not much. As time went on, my walls started to crumble and I started allowing the pain to come out. Listening to others made me realize it was time to open up, let it out, and move on.
I’ve held many years of anger towards my mother. She was never there to answer any questions, explain things to me, or help to guide me on the right path when I started my teen years. She was too involved with my other sisters and my little brother.
The path I walked during those years was not one I was proud of.
Every chance my mother got, she would humiliate and embarrass me. Very rarely would she show any approval for anything good I had accomplished. Always shoved into the shadows!
Being a part of this group has helped me to see I had done nothing wrong. I did not have the right guidance to help me find my path in life, that I needed to take. I tried to survive my teen years the only way I had found: through sex and drugs.
God has helped me to “peel away the layers” of life one layer at a time. He’s softened my heart, helped me to open up and talk about what I experienced. He has also shown me that mom went through quite a bit while she was growing, too. (WWII in England)
I have (and still do) spent some of my quiet times, at home, talking and yelling at her. Wanting to know why she couldn’t truly be there for me when I needed her most. This, too, has helped me with the anger inside.
I know I still have a long journey ahead of me with healing and forgiveness. One step at a time! Forgiveness is what I am working on. Not just towards my mother, but towards myself as well.
The encouragement I get from the girls/women in our group is very uplifting. The love, laughter, and conversations are all a part of our growth, healing, and understanding of our past. All this helps each of us to see that we are people who hurt and are in need of something or someone to lead us on the right path. I have found my person to do just this: God!
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